Picture Overload

Picture Overload Time!

It has been forever since I updated this and I must admit every month  my babies get older I think how badly I want to sit and update this but I just don't find the time. So...I sit here and pump now and update! Yes...still pumping. The idea of spending $4000 in formula for one year x 2 babies is mind boggling so they get about 50/50 right now and I feel like I'm contributing in some small way. But I LOATHE pumping! I'm planning on smashing this machine with a hammer when I'm done in release of all my pent up anger about hating to pump! :)

So we're surviving. It's been the hardest 4.5 months of my life. I've never been so exhausted and feel like every day is the same and just keeps repeating. Many tears have been shed by all of us and finally I am getting used to the crying and my inability to meet everyone's demands all at once. And...they are getting more fun as they get older, sleep better, and interact more. We really are spoiled. They get up once at night and go to bed at 7:30 and get up around 6:30. Not too shabby for 4.5 months old! They nap a lot more irregularly during the day so we are working on that. It's hard being #3 & #4 and having big brother and sisters schedule to work around. Kindergarten kills my napping some time because he's only there 2.5 hours a day and by the time you pack everyone up and unload they fall asleep in the car and then that's their nap. Oh well...someday they will nap better. We're making progress. We've made huge strides in no swaddling and taking the binkies away this last 2 weeks and we are still sleeping at night...small progress but feels big around here!

The biggest blessing is that Ben is finally done with his MBA! This hasn't been so bad over the last 2 years but the last 4 months have been so hard! It's over...we survived! I have felt that once we got to this point life would be getting easier and really the last 2 weeks have been so much better. Babies are getting older...they are a little less needy...and we are adjusting to everything...and now daddy will be around more!

So...here's some pictures of life the last 4 months! Can't believe how much they've changed. Hyrum is such a good helper and the babies love him and love when he talks to them. Ali is still wild and crazy but is settling in nicely to being a big sister. She's still drama but she's so darn cute! Emily is our great sleeper. She's given us trouble with medical issues and tummy problems but finally we are getting the kinks worked out. Sam is so sweet and I can't get enough of him! He's just so darn cute and loves to smile. He is not so cute in the fact he wants to be held to nap instead of lay nicely in his crib like his sister! We love them!

Happy Halloween!

Sisters

 Sweet Ali

 Handsome Hyrum

 They love to grab each other when they are near

 Sam: 4 months

 Emily: 4 months

 4 months! Bright eyed!

 Thanksgiving...I worked the night before...we had Ben's 3 cousins over for dinner and it was quiet and simple and perfect.

 Getting ready for Christmas around here! Love Christmas! Love the spirit it brings and the reminder of all our blessings.

 

 They used to be so tiny!

 My Grandma came to visit in August and we got a 4 generation picture of all the girls.

 Ben's parents came out for their blessing when they were 5 weeks.

We really are so grateful for our 4 healthy children. Some days when its hard I have to remind myself how blessed we are that our IVF worked both times and that we have 3 beautiful children from it and that all of my dreams have come true having these children added to our home when after Hyrum it felt so impossible for a while. Even though I work in the NICU and see premie twins all the time I still am so grateful they made it to term and are generally healthy! Since I've been back to work and I complain about going and complain about how hard it is to work right now...I go to work and its the wake up call I need to remind me how blessed I am that my babies came home with me and are healthy and strong. I recently took care of some 26 week twins...about the time I started bedrest...how grateful I am we didn't spend 14 weeks at the hospital before bringing them home! I love our family so much and I won't deny that its hard and some days I just want a break and want 5 minutes to myself. But I can't deny the Lord's hand in blessing us to make it this far and not have more complications. He knows how hard this is on us and how much we can handle. I have to remind myself that a lot but I can testify to how true it is. When I'm at my breaking point a blessing comes and I've seen so many small miracles occur this last year. It was about a year ago this time we found out about the duo and I can't believe how far we've come and how much we've accomplished this past year!

Can't promise when I'll update again but just wanted to share how grateful I am for our many blessings and hope this Christmas season and New Year bring the same feelings of gratitude and blessings to your family!