Picture Overload

Picture Overload Time!

It has been forever since I updated this and I must admit every month  my babies get older I think how badly I want to sit and update this but I just don't find the time. So...I sit here and pump now and update! Yes...still pumping. The idea of spending $4000 in formula for one year x 2 babies is mind boggling so they get about 50/50 right now and I feel like I'm contributing in some small way. But I LOATHE pumping! I'm planning on smashing this machine with a hammer when I'm done in release of all my pent up anger about hating to pump! :)

So we're surviving. It's been the hardest 4.5 months of my life. I've never been so exhausted and feel like every day is the same and just keeps repeating. Many tears have been shed by all of us and finally I am getting used to the crying and my inability to meet everyone's demands all at once. And...they are getting more fun as they get older, sleep better, and interact more. We really are spoiled. They get up once at night and go to bed at 7:30 and get up around 6:30. Not too shabby for 4.5 months old! They nap a lot more irregularly during the day so we are working on that. It's hard being #3 & #4 and having big brother and sisters schedule to work around. Kindergarten kills my napping some time because he's only there 2.5 hours a day and by the time you pack everyone up and unload they fall asleep in the car and then that's their nap. Oh well...someday they will nap better. We're making progress. We've made huge strides in no swaddling and taking the binkies away this last 2 weeks and we are still sleeping at night...small progress but feels big around here!

The biggest blessing is that Ben is finally done with his MBA! This hasn't been so bad over the last 2 years but the last 4 months have been so hard! It's over...we survived! I have felt that once we got to this point life would be getting easier and really the last 2 weeks have been so much better. Babies are getting older...they are a little less needy...and we are adjusting to everything...and now daddy will be around more!

So...here's some pictures of life the last 4 months! Can't believe how much they've changed. Hyrum is such a good helper and the babies love him and love when he talks to them. Ali is still wild and crazy but is settling in nicely to being a big sister. She's still drama but she's so darn cute! Emily is our great sleeper. She's given us trouble with medical issues and tummy problems but finally we are getting the kinks worked out. Sam is so sweet and I can't get enough of him! He's just so darn cute and loves to smile. He is not so cute in the fact he wants to be held to nap instead of lay nicely in his crib like his sister! We love them!

Happy Halloween!

Sisters

 Sweet Ali

 Handsome Hyrum

 They love to grab each other when they are near

 Sam: 4 months

 Emily: 4 months

 4 months! Bright eyed!

 Thanksgiving...I worked the night before...we had Ben's 3 cousins over for dinner and it was quiet and simple and perfect.

 Getting ready for Christmas around here! Love Christmas! Love the spirit it brings and the reminder of all our blessings.

 

 They used to be so tiny!

 My Grandma came to visit in August and we got a 4 generation picture of all the girls.

 Ben's parents came out for their blessing when they were 5 weeks.

We really are so grateful for our 4 healthy children. Some days when its hard I have to remind myself how blessed we are that our IVF worked both times and that we have 3 beautiful children from it and that all of my dreams have come true having these children added to our home when after Hyrum it felt so impossible for a while. Even though I work in the NICU and see premie twins all the time I still am so grateful they made it to term and are generally healthy! Since I've been back to work and I complain about going and complain about how hard it is to work right now...I go to work and its the wake up call I need to remind me how blessed I am that my babies came home with me and are healthy and strong. I recently took care of some 26 week twins...about the time I started bedrest...how grateful I am we didn't spend 14 weeks at the hospital before bringing them home! I love our family so much and I won't deny that its hard and some days I just want a break and want 5 minutes to myself. But I can't deny the Lord's hand in blessing us to make it this far and not have more complications. He knows how hard this is on us and how much we can handle. I have to remind myself that a lot but I can testify to how true it is. When I'm at my breaking point a blessing comes and I've seen so many small miracles occur this last year. It was about a year ago this time we found out about the duo and I can't believe how far we've come and how much we've accomplished this past year!

Can't promise when I'll update again but just wanted to share how grateful I am for our many blessings and hope this Christmas season and New Year bring the same feelings of gratitude and blessings to your family!



Emily & Samuel Arrive!

Our Family is all here! All six of us now! It's been 8 days since the twins were born and its been filled with highs and hormones and cute cuddly babies! My birth story is far less interesting this time since I had a scheduled C-section but still was a new experience for me. For weeks they had been threatening to take the babies due to size and growth and they let me go until 37.2 weeks (term is considered 37 weeks). My C-section was scheduled for noon and at 12:22pm Emily Elizabeth was born weighing 6lbs 9 oz and 19 inches long. Samuel Steven was shortly after at 12:23pm weighing 6lbs 14oz and 20 inches. Growth issues? They were perfect and healthy and crying! It was music to my ears since I couldn't see what was going on. After getting cleaned up they passed them back to us in the OR while getting stitched up and we got to see our beautiful babies! The C-section was not horrible at all. A week out I feel better than I did after giving birth to Hyrum and Ali. I can say I have little to no pain at this point able to move around easily. Not near as bad as I was thinking and even better in some regards to my other deliveries! We've been so blessed through this pregnancy. We've had great friends helping us, Ben passing his second to last semester, and little Sam coming out with perfect feet! They were worried about Club foot with him and treatment would involve going to SLC every week for the next year for casting. I was terrified by the financial and physical burden it would be to drive weekly 6 hours round trip with twins and a 2 year old. It is such a blessing that everything was perfect! Above is our last picture as a family of 4! Below is right before leaving for the hospital. My hugeness in all its glory! Hey, I've already lost 30lbs in one week! Best weight loss ever! :)

 

 Meeting Emily for the first time! Yes...they both have auburn/red hair. We're in for it!

 

 Hyrum meeting Emily and holding her for the first time.

 Grandma & Ali holding Emily.

 Ali holding Sam.

 

 The babes!

 Adorable hats made by my sweet co-worker!

 

 

 Ben trying out double duty!

 Family of 6!

 One week! Can't believe its been one week!

 

 Me trying double duty! I need practice!

It's been an emotional few days. The twins have had a really hard time nursing due to us having to supplement with bottles after each feed because they were losing weight. They have become lazy and just want the bottle and not take the time to nurse. I've been crazy emotional about it because I planned on nursing and I nursed Hyrum & Ali with no problem. This was just something I would do for them too. After a week of no sleep, fighting with each of them to nurse for half hour per baby per feed, and then giving bottles on top of this...oh yea and sleeping maybe 30 minutes between feeds...I'm giving up. I'm pumping right now but transitioning to formula. Last night was the best night ever! They woke up...we could feed them at the same time...they ate...they went back to sleep. I think I slept 6 hours (total) last night! It felt like heaven! I feel so guilty giving up so soon but after consulting several of my fellow twin moms...I decided I wanted to enjoy these babies and they would still be smart, healthy, strong if I gave them bottles versus nursing. I have moments of guilt still but in the long run know that this will be best for my family and let us have time for the other kids as well.

I could not do this without my amazing husband and mother! The first several days have taken all 3 of us to get through the night! I will forever be in debt to them for this last week!

Forge on!



Long time overdue

 It has been almost a year since I have updated our blog. While I still check other peoples' blogs I never find time/energy to do mine. Not that its that hard....but....There is so much to catch up on in a year. How our lives have changed! I think about last August we went to Disneyland for the Butcher/Carter family reunion. It was so fun and so hot! Ben has been busy plugging along at school and is on track to graduate in December! Can't wait! Last fall we decided to roll the dice again and try in-vitro again. We spent Thanksgiving back and forth between Utah and Idaho doing infertility treatments. We kept it hush-hush from our family and most friends so that we could hopefully have good news to surprise them. The day before Thanksgiving we put 2 embryos in and voila...2 days after our 7th wedding anniversary, on December 19....we found out we would be having twins! Hyrum & Ben predicted this all along but I was shocked because my hormone levels were lower with this pregnancy than when we did this with Alison. Needless to say...they both stuck around and we were excited and thrilled to have 2 more to complete our family! I've always wanted 3-4 kids and I feel so blessed by Heavenly Father to grant us this blessing despite our challenges to get pregnant.  Christmas was really fun because we broke the news to our family that we were having twins by hanging stockings up with "baby A" and "baby B" with our normal ones. Both grandmas caught on pretty fast!

Christmas was wonderful and quiet which was nice. I was already feeling miserable by then and the next few months weren't much better. Thankfully we have great friends/neighbors to keep us entertained and make the long winter go by. February Hyrum turned 5! We had a spiderman birthday party with some friends ( and Ali). He loved it...I was exhausted after only 4 boys...but it was fun.

 In March sweet & stubborn Alison turned 2! Grandma Breese and Uncle Nate were around to celebrate! She is so stinking cute but so much work too! I love her and can't help but smile as she jumps off couches and tables and has amazingly not been to the ER yet for any broken bones. Knock on wood! She adores her big brother and mimics anything he does!

 She didn't blow out her candles but tried!

 This is from Mother's Day 2013! Hyrum is hiding my HUGE belly. Can't believe we'll be having 2 more joining us next mother's day!

 Somewhere around 15/16 weeks we found out baby A was a BOY and baby b was  GIRL! This is like my dream! I always wanted siblings...I always wanted my kids to each get to have a brother and a sister...and now they can! The next 2 pics are from 21 weeks. I've been so spoiled this pregnancy to get frequent ultrasounds. I see my OBGYN and a perinatologist for these guys which doubles up on doctor appointments but I don't mind.

Somewhere around 25/26 weeks I had some contractions so I was put on "bed rest." I had to stop working (though I will return after the babies are born) and am trying to be as compliant on bedrest as you can with a 2 year old and 5 year old at home. Again...wonderful friends have been helping us and giving us playdates! Ben has been so great to do all the grocery shopping and running around along with work, school, and being a great daddy. So grateful I have such a helpful husband and I couldn't do any of this without him! I have honestly loved every minute of being home and have not gotten "homesick" for work yet. Hopefully once Ben graduates we can let me be home a little more.

Hyrum graduated preschool end of May and is now going to be my big kindergartner! He is so excited and I know he will do great! Now that school is out for him we have been trying to stay busy at home since our only outings are doctor appointments. Right now we see the doctor 2 times per week which at least gets us out 2 times! :)

I turned 27 a few weeks ago and it was a nice day at home. Ben had the day off and we snuck out for ice cream that night with the kids. Going anywhere for a long time is uncomfortable so short and sweet was great. I'm 33 weeks and am past full term size by now so these weeks are getting hard. The nesting is kicking in as baby girl is not growing as well and they may take them in the next week or two. Maybe that's why I feel I need to catch up on the blog? I must admit....Erin...you know who you are....I have loved reading your blog on your twins and hope to do the same for my kids. It has given me such insight into life with twins!

Grandma Breese is on alert to drop everything and come as soon as these babies will be coming. So grateful she can be here this summer to help. I'm having a C-section by choice and have never done this. It will be nice to have someone around to help! Grandma Butcher and Grandpa Butcher will join us late August to help out for a while.

Ben is done with school for the summer in 1.5 weeks so we are praying these babies wait until after that to join us. He also turns the big 32 on July 10 so we are looking forward to celebrating that soon!

July will be such a life changing month for us but we can't wait and look forward to meeting these new babies!